STORIES

Matt

“I was 12 years old, questioning myself, my worth and my place on earth. Ultimately, I labelled myself as ‘worthless’. I was depressed, anxious, and suicidal, which then led me down a road of drugs, dealing, addiction. At 16 years old, I threw myself off a building to attempt suicide. And now, as a result, I have a spinal cord injury. I remember waking up in the hospital feeling pathetic. I thought it was “I was 12 years old, questioning myself, my worth and my place on earth. Ultimately, I labelled myself as ‘worthless’. I was depressed, anxious, and suicidal, which then led me down a road of drugs, dealing, addiction. At 16 years old, I threw myself off a building to attempt suicide. And now, as a result, I have a spinal cord injury. I remember waking up in the hospital feeling pathetic. I thought it was a rock bottom beforehand. I felt like the one thing I had intended to do, the only thing I wanted in life, I couldn’t get right.

Whilst I was in rehab, I remember reading a statement from doctors and specialists that I would never walk again. It was because my spinal cord was complete severed. I saw the x-rays. There was no connecting point for the nerves to transfer, yet I would never accept that I wouldn’t walk again. They called me delusional, but I kept working with the specialists and the physios, practicing standing up. Now I can pedal a bike. So, is that something physical or mental? I started to question things.

Rehab is getting there. It’s a slow journey, but I’m definitely strengthening up and I will be walking one day. Until then, I accept the current state that I’m in a wheelchair, but I’m determined it won’t be that way forever.

I want people to know, life has a plan for you. You’re here for a reason.

I wouldn’t change anything in my life. I firmly believe that now I’m the best version of myself; Because I am fulfilled. I’m still human. I can have challenging emotions, but my mindset has completely transformed. My injury, my recovery and the gradual empowerment I have been able to embody has changed my life, and in the process, I’ve inspired others. I couldn’t be more grateful to be in the position that I am in.” – Matt Caruana

@Mattshares

Hear the full story now on the Heart On My Sleeve Podcast. #heartonmysleeve

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