“I had always known from a young age that something wasn’t quite right, I would tell myself I was just a little weird, a tad eccentric, just different from the rest, and that’s fine right? Well I thought so, and so I would go through my teens telling myself the same story. The same excuses. “No one will understand, no one will listen.” The shame of what I was feeling and the fear of not being understood, and the sheer horror of being labelled as “crazy” or “insane” was enough to silence me until I was 18 years old, when I finally saw no other option than to seek help I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, Obsessive Compulsive disorder.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “But you’re not tidy?” “You don’t freak out when things aren’t in the right order”. Whilst those are very real consequences of OCD, I myself was affected by the cruel mistress that is intrusive thoughts, a type of OCD which paralysed me for far too long. I wouldn’t go to a train station because I was too scared I would jump in front of it. I wouldn’t drive my car because I was too scared I would crash it, I couldn’t go to bed at night without turning the lights on 5 times each, or something bad would happen to my family. It soon overtook my life and the thoughts got darker and darker in nature to the point I was bed bound and couldn’t leave the house.

I have never been one for sharing my experiences with people, due to the fear of what people will think and how they would see me, but today, 4 November 2019, I was lucky enough to be part of an organisation that hosted an event for Movember at which Mitch Wallis shared his story and his experiences and I instantly felt touched because his story resonated so deeply with mine and made me realise that I am not the only one going through the battle, sharing is so powerful.

This isn’t a cry for help, I have support I need, this is coming from a place of empowerment and inspiration and if this post can make one person even think about thinking about opening up and seeking help, then it is”

Share Elenora's story

More Stories

Share your story

Your story can change the world.

Turn your pain into meaning by sharing your journey & insights to help someone out of the darkness.
Share Your Story