This post is a recommendation to seek out the work of Dr Laurie Santos, who is a Professor of Psychology at Yale University. She calls Hedonic Adaptation a “happiness glitch”, meaning that we get used to what we have and don’t appreciate it as much as we did when we first got it, like a new partner, a new job, a pay rise, a new car.

What you might find most useful though, are the techniques to “patch” the glitch, and also how the reverse can be true, in that situations which seem devastating in one instant, can ease to discomfort and perhaps even apathy over time.

First let’s look at a specific example. There is a trend in the USA of students filming themselves as they check their college acceptance. They record the euphoria of getting into the college of their dreams. 18 months later, those same students often feel stressed, tired, and engrossed in the grind of their studies. Even if they still feel confident in their path, the euphoria is usually gone.

And even if the thing we’re becoming used to isn’t causing us stress, like a new car might still be as lovely and feature packed as the day we go it, but the heated seats and dynamic dashboard don’t thrill us like they used to.

Things stop feeling amazing over time because we get used to them – people, places and things.

How to combat hedonic adaptation

1. Mix it up: If you always fly business or first class, book yourself an economy ticket. Go camping instead of to a hotel and your next shower will feel even more sweet.

2. Mindfulness: Savour the things that matter and force yourself to notice the blessings by instilling a conscious gratitude practice.

3. Negative visualisation: Stoics have a practice where they imagine that all the good things in their life are gone. For example, think of the last time you saw your kid/partner/friend. Now imagine that was the last time you ever saw that person. It takes 2 seconds and it will feel AWFUL. But the next time you see that person you may see them differently and hug them harder.

 How to use hedonic adaptation to your advantage

Understand that just as the wonderful things lose their shine, so will the painful things lose their sting. A divorce, a redundancy, a physical injury, a betrayal or a trigger. Hedonic adaptation means that we’re likely to get used to these things over time as well. Even cutting grief can be integrated as we adapt our thoughts, feelings and habits to a new normal.