The stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we're capable of can significantly impact our self-esteem and overall well-being and the wildest part – it’s become so normalised that most of us aren’t even aware of the torment we put ourselves through, every day.

So how do we drop the negative narratives? Don’t worry, we’re not going to ask you to” just think positively” because we know how tough and unrealistic it is to swing from one extreme to the other. Instead, we’d simply encourage you to become aware of the stories you tell yourself and begin to challenge their accuracy and role in your life.

1. Recognizing the Power of Internal Stories:

Our internal stories are the interpretations we create about ourselves based on past experiences, societal expectations, and personal beliefs. They shape our self-image, influencing how we perceive our abilities, worthiness, and potential. Acknowledging that these stories exist for you and considering what impact they might be having on your life, be it at work, in relationships or with family is a solid first step.

2. Identifying Limiting Beliefs:

Negative internal stories often stem from limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves. These beliefs may include thoughts like "I'm not good enough," "I always fail," or "I'm unworthy of love”. Reflect on the beliefs that you hold about yourself and explore which ones have weaved themselves into a consistent negative narrative and may be holding you back. Where and when in your life do you give that story airtime?

3. Challenging Negative Narratives:

Once you've identified your limiting beliefs, it's time to challenge their validity. Ask yourself: What evidence supports or refutes these beliefs? Are there alternative perspectives that offer a different outlook? Negative internal stories are often rooted in fear or shame and thrive on self-criticism and judgment. Practising self-compassion is essential for breaking free from this cycle. Engaging in positive self-talk may feel too hard, and if that’s the case for you, opt for neutral. If you have frequent thoughts about “not being good enough”, instead of grappling uncomfortably with “I’m worthy” (which can be really hard to believe), meet your needs in the middle with a neutral statement like “I’m no more or less than anyone else”. It’s an objective reality that your brain will be more likely to accept.

Gradually, your new, neutral narratives will begin to overshadow the old ones. Dropping negative thoughts and feelings will not only contribute to your mental wellbeing but research has shown that your overall physical health can improve when you treat yourself with more kindness and compassion.

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